


Lessons Learned

by The_idea_master



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/F, Fevers, Nightmares, somewhat unrequited love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:48:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28702413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_idea_master/pseuds/The_idea_master
Summary: Emily and the team stay at a hotel where a strange noise comes from JJ’s room. Suspicious enough to draw Emily’s attention and her gun. Upon investigating, she finds a scene she didn’t expect, and a particular blonde in need of help.
Relationships: JEmily, JJ/Emily, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

Emily sat at the desk of the hotel room reviewing the case file and the deductions the team had made so far in their unsub’s profile. She knew it was late, but something was tugging at her. They’d missed something and she was determined to find what exactly the missing puzzle piece was.  
Sure, she’d suffer tomorrow for the lack of sleep, but so long as the others were in bed they could compensate. If anything, Hotch was out like a light. The man followed a strict schedule when traveling and he never stayed up later than necessary. Morgan and Garcia were probably keen on getting their beauty sleep, while Reid had a specific bedtime he followed since he was little. As for JJ, she should be in bed. If she wasn’t, Emily was going to scold her in the morning, that was for sure.  
Besides, JJ wasn’t supposed to be on the case at all. Not since she’d told the team she was pregnant. But Emily wasn’t the only person who found JJ’s stubbornness frustrating, Hotch did too, and he hated the idea of stressing JJ out anymore than need be. But then again, JJ was stubborn, and she’d refused to stay back at Quanitco much to Emily’s dismay.  
Of course, as a result, Emily made sure to remind JJ that while the case was important she still needed to take care of herself. And while the blonde was only about two months along in the pregnancy, things could go wrong. All it took was one slip up, one accident, and the baby would be lost. That worried Emily more than anything because she knew how excited JJ was to be a mom. Had seen the way her eyes lit up when talking about possible names or room designs. It was sweet and endearing and beautiful, just like JJ.  
Which was why the loud thump from next door startled the brunette. So much so she smacked her knee on the underside of the desk. A lead weight settled in her stomach. That was JJ’s room. For a moment she contemplated ignoring the noise, but something instinctual told her otherwise. Standing, she rummaged through the spare room keys that littered the desk. Hotch made sure each of them had a spare for each of the team member’s rooms. After the previous agent Elle had been shot in her apartment, and past unsubs had gained access to personal information, etc, Hotch was taking zero chances now. He couldn’t risk it.  
Finding the one with JJ’s room number, Emily grabbed her gun just in case and journeyed into the silent hallway. It was eerily quiet, contributing to the weird sound of loud running water coming from JJ’s room. Pausing at the door, Emily determined that the stream of water wasn’t one coming from the shower head but the tub instead. It was consistent by in nature, not broken up and sporadic.  
Strange, JJ had told her a long time ago she hated bathes and much preferred showers. Which made her taking a bath at midnight quite strange. Swallowing tightly, Emily ran the card through the door’s lock. The little indicator light turned green and she crept inside prepared for any threat possible.  
The main room was dark. It looked barely disturbed as if JJ had gone straight to bed after setting her things on the floor. But off to the right a faint glow broke through the false night. A lamp it seemed.  
Gun still drawn, Emily rounded the corner to see the bed sheets askew and the lamp upon the night stand emitting a soft glow. JJ, however, was not in bed. Yet nothing seemed out of place. Except for the bathroom door being ajar with a harsh light coming from inside along with the monotone sound of rushing water.  
“JJ?” Emily called out, walking slowly to the bathroom door, prepared for something she didn’t want to see. She nudged it open slowly with her foot to see JJ curled up in the tub, dressed in small pajama shorts and a white t shirt most likely one of Will’s. She was slumped against the back section of the tub, her head leaning on the wall, brow drawn, lips pale and taught, with sweat coating the visible parts of her skin not submerged in water.  
At first, Emily feared she’d managed to slip and fall, but the blonde was breathing albeit painfully. Setting her gun on the counter Emily knelt beside the tub and turned the water off. The tub was nearly overflowing.  
“Jayje?” She asked again, but received no response. Chest tight with panic, she reached out to carefully cradle the blonde’s head in her hands. “God you’re burning up.”  
“Em?” JJ rasped, eyes barely fluttering open, and even that seemed to make her paler.  
“I’ve got you.” Emily promised, not hesitating to clamber into the bathtub, fully dressed, to scoop JJ up into her arms. The water was freezing. “Come on.”  
“I’m so hot,” JJ croaked.  
“You have a fever that’s breaking,” Emily explained, now drenched right along with JJ. But the small tub and the amount of water made it difficult to get a prosper grip on the blonde. Instead, Emily unplugged the drain and pulled JJ into her lap. “What happened?”  
“Nightmare,” JJ whispered, trembling from head to toe.  
“Nightmares don’t give people fevers,” Emily chastised, taking JJ’s hands in her own.  
“It was so real.”  
“What did you eat today?” Emily asked, brushing the blonde’s sweat dampened hair out of her eyes. The question fell on deaf ears as JJ’s eyes drooped shut. It didn’t matter though, Emily knew the answer. The case had hit home with JJ. The last victim was an older sister to a young naive girl. Targeted like the others for supposedly “neglecting their roles as elder siblings.” JJ hadn’t eaten all day. She’d been too absorbed in the case to think otherwise and she was paying the price for it now.  
Scared to leave JJ alone in the tub, Emily finally managed to ease the blonde out of its cold confines and onto the file floor. She promised to be back shortly and retreated to her room. She returned moments later with a bottle of water and some crackers. A light snack she usually had on hand just in case. Because while she was upset at JJ for neglecting to eat, Emily had done the same thing countless times before.  
Setting the small snack aside, Emily collected blankets from the other room and set them on the floor. By now JJ had come too.  
“I’m taking your clothes off okay? You can’t sit here soaked and cold,” Emily chastised. JJ lifted her arms up like a child and Emily peeled the wet shirt from JJ’s frame. The blonde managed to shakily slip out of her bottoms as well. Under different circumstances this would have fulfilled Emily’s wildest dreams. JJ naked and all to herself. But this wasn’t that type of situation. This was serious. She was losing body heat.  
“You too,” JJ slurred, trying to gesture at Emily’s soaked clothes with a limp hand. Rolling her eyes, Emily stripped away her jeans which were soaked up to the thighs. Then, she grabbed the snack, water, and blankets.  
The biggest blanket Emily wrapped around her shoulders, and then upon sitting down, pulled JJ into her lap and wrapped it around the blonde too. JJ shrunk back into the familiar warm body despite feeling hot. Without thinking, Emily pressed a firm kiss to JJ’s sweaty brow. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. Eat this. Slowly, or you’ll make yourself sick.”  
The brunette held up one of the crackers to JJ’s lips, and the blonde nibbled at it. It took nearly ten minutes to coax JJ to eat a whole cracker. By then, the blonde had darted to the toilet and vomited the small meal back up. For the next five minutes she was racked by dry heaves. Tears lined her cheeks.  
“It’s okay,” Emily assured for the millionth time, lightly running a hand down the blonde’s back. “Try again.”  
JJ nodded sluggishly, and nestled back into Emily’s waiting arms. Slowly but surely, JJ finished off the package of crackers and bottle of water all while Emily whispered encouragement to her and pressed light kisses to her face. She didn’t care about the consequences. Not with JJ looking so bad.  
Finally, the blonde stopped shaking, and color slowly returned to her face. “Thank you.”  
The words sounded frail and broken.  
“In another hour I’ll get you something else okay? You need to catch back up on your calories. Your body is in a really bad deficit,” Emily reasoned, unable to do much else or she too would become emotional and frail. “You have to be careful Jayje. You have someone else to worry about too.”  
“I know,” JJ whimpered. “I just...the case.”  
“I know,” Emily sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around the blonde thankful to no longer feel her trembling. She was unaware of the small patterns her fingers were tracing across JJ’s stomach until the blonde stilled her hand and interlaced their fingers. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when you should eat again.”  
“Okay,” JJ nodded, still half delirious. And Emily held her closely the rest of the night, only leaving to rummage through her bag for any other snacks she’d squirrels away. By morning, she too had fallen asleep.  
— — —  
Noticing the way JJ’s door was left ajar, Hotch, the first awake that morning, announced his presence. He was concerned something may have happened in the night and he wasn’t taking any chances. Not anymore. Like Emily had the night before, he crept through the room before arriving at the bathroom. There, the door was open wide revealing both women slumped against the bathroom wall cocooned in blankets.  
He noticed the gun upon the bathroom counter, the different empty water bottles and snack wrappers on the floor, and the still wet discarded clothes. It wasn’t lost on him the way Emily had wrapped herself around the blonde. Or the way JJ seemed small against the brunette. It was a scene he didn’t expect to see, but a scene he wasn’t surprised by either. He’d known Emily’s feelings for JJ long before Emily herself did.  
But he also knew that whatever had happened wasn’t something good. Not with the apparent carelessness of Emily’s love on display. JJ had been vulnerable, and Emily had been too caught up in whatever stressor was afflicting JJ to worry about damaging the relationship between JJ and Will.  
Sighing, he left and closed the door behind himself. They’d be late to the briefing no doubt, but he would forgive them. And when either woman was ready, they would tell him what had happened.  
— — —  
Morning came, and Emily was the first to wake. She stayed still, afraid to move unless she wake JJ. The poor girl still seemed weak, but much stronger than the night before. Still somewhat groggy and tired, Emily brushed aside JJ’s hair and lovingly kissed the blonde’s forehead. JJ stirred and leaned back, capturing Emily’s lips in her own. The kiss was soft and sweet and everything Emily had ever dreamed of. But JJ let a name die on her lips. “Wil-“  
The faint whisper was enough to shock Emily back into reality. “Jayje it’s me, Em.”  
“I know,” JJ whispered, her eyes squinting open. “I was saying don’t tell Will. I don’t want him to worry.”  
“I won’t,” Emily promised. And while she wanted to ask if the kiss was meant for her, she didn’t. Because she was afraid of the answer. “Come on. We have a briefing.”  
“Just a little longer,” JJ sighed, pressing herself further into Emily’s hold. “I’m cold.”  
“Okay,” Emily conceded.  
“You heart is racing,” JJ noted.  
“You scared me last night,” Emily admitted, hearing her voice break before she could feel it.  
“I’m sorry,” JJ insisted, her expression one of sincere regret. She turned in the little blanket cocoon to face Emily. The brunette wasn’t sure if JJ knew she was naked or not, be she decided not to dwell on it even as JJ straddled her and embraced her. “You’re my best friend. I’d never do anything to scare you. Not on purpose.”  
“Even on Halloween?” Emily joked, trying to distract herself from the feeling of JJ’s body heat, and the pressure of her chest against her own . She couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to just hold JJ and let her hands trace over the blonde’s skin. But she couldn’t do that. Not anymore. Not that JJ was slowly becoming coherent enough to understand the situation for what it was.  
“No promises,” JJ smiled, looking like her old self again.  
“I figured as much,” Emily mused. “Now get on up little lady. I have to head back to my room.”  
“Right,” JJ nodded, stealing the blanket from Emily and helping the brunette stand. “I owe you.”  
“You don’t owe me anything Jayje,” Emily insisted, her voice impossibly soft just like her gaze. “You’ve never owed me anything.”  
“We both know that’s not true,” JJ replied, her eyes falling to the floor, and it occurred to Emily that no matter how disoriented JJ had been last night, she knew Emily was kissing her temples and brow and cheeks and nose. She knew that Emily was holding her in ways a friend didn’t. She knew all of it and had let it happen anyways.  
“I wasn’t taking advantage of you. I promise,” Emily worried, her eyes stinging with tears she didn’t want to shed. “I didn’t think you knew. I just. I wasn’t thinking. I was worried about you. I-“  
“You love me,” JJ concluded, nodding solemnly. “I know, Em. I know.”  
“Then why-“  
“It’s complicated,” JJ shrugged, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “It’s...it’s so complicated.”  
“No, no it’s not.” Emily shook her head vigorously. She hesitated, nearly pulling JJ into another hug before thinking better if it. “You are with Will. He loves you so much JJ. And I know you love him. I’ve seen how you look at each other. Don’t let what happened last night-don’t let the vulnerability sway you. There’s a thing called transference, okay? You know that. And it’s just because I was there that-“  
“You sound like Reid,” JJ laughed softly, shaking her head as she sat on the edge of the hotel bed. “But maybe you’re right.”  
“I don’t want to ruin what you have Jayje-JJ.“ Emily corrected herself. “  
“JJ.” The blonde laughed bitterly. “I almost forgot that’s what you called me when we met.”  
“Look, I-“ Emily was at a loss for words. Her heart was breaking in more ways than one. “I would do anything for you and if that means keeping my feelings to myself then so be it.”  
“Don’t you want to be happy?” JJ asked. Her eyes sad and conflicted.  
“JJ, I have spent so much of my life being unhappy that I can’t tell much of a difference anymore,” Emily admitted, just now remembering she was pant-less and shifting awkwardly beneath the blonde’s gaze.  
“That didn’t answer my question,” JJ noted, “but I understand. Go. Go get ready. And thank you for everything. Just...keep it between us okay? Please?”  
“No one will know, not even Hotch,” Emily assured.  
— — —  
“Hey,” Hotch, caught Emily’s arm before she could leave the briefing room, which was really the hotel conference room. “What happened last night with JJ?”  
“What do you mean?” Emily asked, but by Hotch’s intense stars she knew that somehow he knew something had happened.  
“JJ’s door was ajar early this morning. I went in thinking something happened I found the both of you curled up in the bathroom,” he explained.  
“I heard something from her room last night. I was worried so I investigated. She was sick and had a fever. It was breaking but she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and she was so close to passing out it was...frightening,” Emily explained, leaving out any of the personal details.  
Hotch sighed and shook his head in dismay, “I worried she’d forget to take care of herself. Especially for this case.”  
“H-Hotch-“ Emily started but he interrupted.  
“I know,” he smiled faintly, “I see the way you look at her. You’re a good friend.”  
“How am I a good friend when she’s married and I-“ Emily couldn’t finish.  
“Because despite how much you love her, you refuse to break what she already has. That’s a brave thing to do. And it’s hard and it’s lonely, but it means you love her enough to let her go,” Hotch spoke surprisingly softly. Emily remained quiet, and all she could do was nod. The two stood in silence for a moment before Hotch left his agent alone with her thoughts. Of course, Emily knew he was right, but that didn’t make things any easier. In fact, she laughed bitterly to herself, none of this was easy. Not in her line of work. That was a lesson she learned time and time again.


	2. Chapter Two

Emily was sound asleep on the plane. She’d taken quite the beating that day, helping Morgan chase down the Unsub. Her left eye was black and swollen, her cheek bruised, and her arm was bandaged neatly about the bicep. They’d found their unsub in the woods, and when confronted he chose to fight before fleeing. When Emily managed to wrestle him down, he’d swung a particularly pointy stick lodging it in her arm.   
Morgan had done his best to help bandage her up, but his hands were big and he was too jazzed up from the chase to be particularly gentle.   
“Alright, before you kill her let someone not amped up do the doctoring,” JJ had mused, nudging Morgan aside.   
“Probably a good idea. Sorry, Em.” He apologized.   
“I forgive you,” Emily smirked, though it looked strange on her bruised face.   
“Ever so kind,” Morgan joked, giving a small teasing bow, and retreating to his seat.   
Emily sat on the counter at the back of the plane swinging her legs slightly. She was trying not to make too much eye contact with the blonde. JJ knew it had to do with their case a month ago, and while she hated making Emily uncomfortable, she hated more than anything seeing her friend hurt.   
“If you want, I can get Reid to help,” JJ offered, noticing Emily’s tense posture. “He’s a real doctor.”   
“It’s fine,” the brunette sighed, rubbing her eyes before wincing. “I forgot I got punched in the face. Fuck, I’m tired.”   
“I think that sums up everyone on this plane,” JJ laughed, carefully cleaning the wound on Emily’s arm and tossing aside the bandage remnants of Morgan’s failed attempts. The two stayed quiet for some time as JJ worked. Cleaning any and all cuts, determining if they needed additional care or not, until she was pleased with her job. “There. All fixed up.”  
“Great, now I won’t bleed all over the plane,” Emily sighed, hopping down from the counter and moving past the blonde to her seat. JJ, not keen on maintaining this awkward relationship, followed and sat beside her.   
“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me with this. I told Reid I’d finish it by the end of the trip but he made the font really fucking small,” JJ grumbled, pulling out a large cross word puzzle.   
“You have two words,” Emily noted, trying not to laugh.   
“They’re long words,” JJ protested, “twelve letters for that one, see?”  
“Fine, I’ll help but only if I can be the blue high lighter,” Emily decided. JJ conceded the utensil and together they poured over the cross word in search of Reid’s obscure words.   
That’s what lead to Emily falling asleep. One moment she was awake, the next she was slumped over with her head in JJ’s lap. The blonde didn’t move for fear of waking her, but she was determined to finish the damned puzzle. So she pulled down one of the back seat trays and set to work.   
At one point Emily stirred, nearly falling off the seat but JJ managed to catch her and guide her back to safety. To prevent further mishaps, she kept one hand on the brunette at all times. During some part of the puzzle, JJ started playing with the ends of Emily’s hair and slowly ran her fingers through it. She’d forgotten the texture of it until now, and she smiled to herself.  
“You’re grinning like an idiot, princess,” Morgan snorted.   
“Just found another word,” JJ assured, but her heart raced. She hadn’t noticed she was smiling. When and why that’d happened she wasn’t sure. Just like she wasn’t sure when her thumb started to lightly caress Emily’s bruised cheek as if she were slowly erasing the mark with each pass.   
After another hour, JJ took a break from the cross word and simply sat there. There was something comfortable in the familiarity of Emily’s weight. Of her presence. It brought about memories of warmth and safety. Things she hadn’t bothered to acknowledge until now. Like the way Emily smiled when Sergio climbed into her lap and nestled down. Or the way she laughed at a joke so dumb it was actually funny. Even the way Emily tilted her head back when trying not to cry. They were all things JJ knew about her, all things she’d come to recognize and look for.   
Sighing, and caught up in thought, JJ closed her own eyes and let the silence of the plane guide her into a deep sleep.   
— — —  
“Hey Hotch,” Morgan whispered, having noticed the way both girls seemed to instinctually curl around each other. “What’s going on over there?”  
“I don’t know,” Hotch lied, following Morgan’s stare.   
“They’ve been acting weird don’t you think?” Morgan pressed.   
“No. If anything it’s natural. When Hailey was pregnant her behavior changed no different than JJ’s,” Hotch explained, glancing back down to the case file in his lap.   
“Statistically it’s not uncommon. Due to the hormone imbalances and chemical changes in the body and brain, most women when undergoing pregnancy exhibit strange or even rash behaviors,” Reid piped up. “Sometimes they’re even subconscious manifestations or an increase in the exhibition of an emotion already there.”  
“Okay, that makes sense for JJ. But what about Emily? She hates being touched. Now she’s all of a sudden wanting cuddles?” Morgan frowned.   
“Morgan, you know Emily’s history. You know her more than any of us. She’s got to be feeling a slew of emotions right now and two of them are going to be a severe need to protect and a surprising amount of affection,” Hotch explained.   
“Given the fact that Emily never had a supportive resource during her own pregnancy, consequently a component of her deciding to get an abortion, it’s not strange at all for her to be projecting certain feelings onto JJ,” Reid agreed. “It’s also partially why she needs to protect JJ. To make sure nothing happens to JJ like it did for her.”  
“Right,” Morgan nodded, relaxing in his seat. “Okay, that makes sense.”  
— — —  
The plane landed, startling Emily awake. She tried to sit up only to smack her face against the lowered tray. “Ow! Fuck!”  
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” JJ gasped, moving the tray back up and cradling Emily’s head in her hands having woken ten minutes prior. “Are you okay?”  
“Stop laughing, it hurts,” Emily frowned, as JJ began to laugh. The blonde pressed a slew of faint kisses to Emily’s forehead all the while laughing.   
“Your face,” JJ wheezed, “ was priceless.”  
“Listen, I didn’t have ‘nearly concussed’ on my list of things to do today,” Emily replied, but she was far from mad. Her skin still buzzed from the fading touches of JJ’s lips. “Did you at least finish Reid’s puzzle?”  
“No, I fell asleep,” JJ admitted, almost bashfully.   
“I win!” Reid laughed maniacally. “I mean...good job. Fine effort.”   
“Wow,” JJ snorted, folding the paper into an airplane and firing it in Reid’s direction.   
“Home sweet home,” Morgan sighed, standing and stretching his arms above his head. “See you losers later.”   
And just like that he was gone.   
“More files to finish, yay,” Emily sighed, standing and collecting her things. “So much for sleep.”  
JJ’s phone buzzed and she answered it within a second. “Hey.”  
“Hey Jayje, you touch down yet?” Will asked.   
“Yeah, about two minutes ago.” JJ explained. “I’m gonna be home later than expected though.”  
“Oh,” Will trailed off.   
“Emily drew the short stick for paper work and she’s pretty beat up. I figured I could help her out-“  
Before JJ could finish, Emily snatched the phone from her hand. “Emily speaking, hey Will, yeah, your wife will be home as expected. I can handle the work on my own. Oh I agree, she’s sweet, but she should rest. Yeah, I’ll tell her. Bye.”   
“Emily,” JJ glared, hand extended expectantly.   
“I don’t need you to do my work for me,” Emily insisted, passing the phone back over, “go home. I’ll be fine. Will says he has dinner made.”   
“You don’t get to make my decisions for me,” JJ glowered, shoving the phone back into her pocket. By now, the rest of the team had left, leaving the two of them alone.   
“It’s for your own good,” Emily replied, turning her back on the blonde.   
“Emily, you don’t know what is or isn’t good for me,” JJ protested, catching the brunette by her arm. Emily yelped and pulled away from the touch. “Sorry...I-I forgot that was your bad arm. I didn’t mean to-“  
“It’s okay,” Emily sighed. “Just, I don’t want you running yourself down again. Okay? There’s not always going to be a person there to remind you to take care of yourself. You have no idea how fragile you were when I found you in that hotel room.”   
“And I’m sorry for that,” JJ spoke earnestly. “I am. I just want to help you like you helped me.”  
“Jayje, I said it before and I’ll say it again. You don’t owe me anything,” Emily sighed, running a tired hand down her face. “What happened last month was an accident. I let my guard down an-“  
“Did you ever consider the fact that I could have stopped you?” JJ blurted out, surprised by her own admission. “And that I didn’t.”  
“Why?” Emily asked, her dark eyes burning holes into JJ’s skin.   
“I don’t know,” JJ whispered, her confidence suddenly failing. “I don’t know, Em. I can’t explain it. It’s confusing. But I know that-that I should have stopped you.”  
“Why didn’t you?” Emily pressed.   
“I told you I don’t know!”  
“Yes, you do, JJ.”  
“Because I liked it? I don’t know. Because Will doesn’t...he doesn’t-forget it.” By now JJ’s frustration was getting the best of her, and she wanted to cry. Emily knew she shouldn’t keep pressing the issue but she wanted an answer. She deserved that much.   
“What? What doesn’t he do?” Emily’s eyes still held the blonde’s even as she sat down.   
“It’s personal.” JJ muttered, wrapping her arms around herself.   
“We’re beyond keeping those kinds of secrets now,” Emily snorted, tilting her head to the side.  
“He’s distant. He doesn’t-he’s not affectionate. Not physically. He’s sweet and he says the most wonderful things, but he doesn’t know that he can’t just hold my hand and act like that’s all I need. All I want.” JJ spoke softly, eyes staring down at the floor threatening to set it on fire. “And when you were there-I felt like for the first time someone understood. Someone understood that sometimes I just want to be held and loved. To feel like there’s more than just some emotional connection.”   
“JJ, have you told Will about this?” Emily asked calmly. “He can’t fix something if he doesn’t know about it.”  
“Of course I told him. He says he’ll try but he’s so..awkward about it. Like he hates the idea of touching me more than he has to. And I get it. I do. I’m not the easiest person to understand or love, but I try. I try to listen to him and I know his love language and the smallest things that can make him happy,” JJ rambled, now talking with her hands.   
“Jayje,” Emily sighed, “he’s not a profiler. He doesn’t just notice those things.”   
“What’s my love language, Emily?” JJ interrupted, staring intently at the other woman.   
“Well, you like moments to yourself where you can be quiet and entertained by your own thoughts. You like to be left alone and you like when people respect that. But you also like connection. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. It grounds you. To have someone that reminds you that the world isn’t always so bad. You like when people go out of their way to do something for you even if it’s small like throwing away an empty coffee cup. And you always return the favor because...because you love people the way they love you,” Emily finished. She seemed to realize something at the end of her thoughts. “That’s why you doctored up my arm. You...you love me.”  
“And now you understand why all of this makes no sense,” JJ muttered, her voice cracking. “Because I love Will and yet I love you too.”   
“JJ,” Emily shook her head in disbelief, and stood to hug the blonde. “It’s gonna be okay.”  
“How?”  
“Because I’m not going to interfere. I’m not going to jeopardize anything you and Will have,” Emily promised.   
“I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about myself. God, this is one hell of a time to be pregnant.” JJ sounded bitter.   
“I thought you wanted a family?” Emily frowned, pulling back.   
“I do. But this was...it wasn’t necessarily planned. I was happy, I am happy, but I’m confused too.” JJ admitted. For the first time, Emily noticed the fear in JJ’s eyes when discussing being a mother. It was the same fear Emily once had.   
“I’m sorry JJ,” the brunette pursed her lips, “I want to help but I don’t know how to without making things worse.”  
“I know.”   
— — —  
“Hey there gorgeous,” Will smiled, getting up from the table to greet his wife as she entered the rather empty house.   
“Hey,” JJ smiled tiredly. Will moved to take her bag and set it aside before pressing a swift kiss to her cheek.   
“I made your favorite, it’s a little cold but-“  
“It’s fine, Will,” JJ promised, sitting across from him. “Thank you.”  
“Of course,” he smiled warmly. “How was the case?”   
“Fine,” JJ smiled faintly, “I learned a lot today.”   
“Really?” Will leaned forward clearly interested.   
“Yeah, but Emily took a beating.”  
“You told me. She gonna be okay?” He asked, already digging into the meal.   
“Physically, she’ll be just fine,” JJ assured. That seemed to comfort Will. Emotionally though, JJ wasn’t sure. In fact, she wasn’t sure if she’d be okay either. Things were certainly changing, and JJ had no idea if it was for the better. “How was your day?”  
Will’s eyes lit up as he launched into a story but JJ’s mind was elsewhere. She was thinking about Emily, and the way she so easily understood her. It made her chest ache. Because if Emily had greeted her at the door it would have been a warm smile, a tight hug, a kiss on the lips then the forehead, and then she’d have taken JJ’s bags to their room.They’d have sat beside each other instead of opposite ends of the table and would have enjoyed the silence together. But somehow this was okay.   
A kiss on the cheek, a compliment, the home cooked meal, and getting to study Will’s handsome features across the way-it was all fine. Loveable too. But there was something missing to it. Something JJ couldn’t place, but she knew it had everything to do with Emily.


End file.
